Underestimated because of Your Estrogen & Melanin?

Today, let's chat about something that comes up a lot when speaking with successful women of color. Each one has stories of how others sorely underestimated them, and then they really showed the naysayers by having great success. Sinatra said, "The greatest revenge is massive success." Yes, sir, it is. 

But, what if the naysayer is You and that negative voice in your head?

Consider this: have you ever applied for a position that you wanted so badly, and prayed hard for because you just weren't sure if you were good enough, then you got the job and realized you are significantly more experienced, educated, and qualified than your colleagues (and maybe even your superior)?  
​
What the heck happened? How could there be such a mismatch between your belief and the reality of your abilities?

Certainly, this is a simplistic example of how we might see our abilities. The bottom line is as my first life coach Leslie Flowers used to say, "You can never surpass your belief in your ability and your deserve-ability." 
This means you have to believe you can both achieve high goals and that you deserve to achieve them.

If you underestimate YOURSELF, then the way you see your ability (and deserve-ability) to succeed will be distorted and inaccurate.
How does it get this like this? The way you create your beliefs in your ability and what you deserve is informed by your upbringing, culture, environment, experiences, expertise, information, imagination, your genes, and your interpretation of all these things. 

What's the remedy? Well, the operative phrase in the prior paragraph is "the way you CREATE your beliefs."  We make our beliefs, and the method to create better beliefs is to know what is True and what is You (or something you have taken as fact that may not be true). 

The Assessment: For most people, especially women, we are our greatest critic. We may criticize ourselves harshly and then agree when someone else diminishes our abilities and capabilities. They confirm our negative thoughts and make us feel "right"... Wrong! Having consensus does not make something true; in this case, it's called confirmation bias. It's not true AND it doesn't serve us.

The Plan: Separate the Truth from the Bias. 

Example:
Bias: I never get anything right: not in my relationships, not in my career, and not for my health. I must be broken.

Truth: I have the ability to build the knowledge and learn the skills I need to have fulfilling relationships, an engaging career, and improved health. 

And the Truth shall set you free! What's your Truth?