Self Caring

I found myself falling back into some old tendencies recently. As I have been working to support the COVID vaccine response, I saw my work hours increase (over 70 hrs/week) and prioritizing my own needs decrease. My self-care was tanking and I could feel the consequences of it: shorter attention span, fatigue, and less patience. 

I was like that Usher song; He sings, "I love Love, I'm just bad at it." What the song suggests is that he desires a monogamous romance; it just doesn't come naturally to him. Not an excuse though :) That is how I feel about self-care. When I am making myself a priority, and I find that I can give more of my good stuff to others without feeling used up. So I love self-care; it just doesn't come naturally. For those who are people pleasers like myself, it feels more natural to be other focused than self focused. It's just how our minds work. 

Put a different way, sometimes it can feel really good supporting others at your detriment, and suffering as a result of it is even added bonus because of the sacrifice. Yet, in the long run it takes a toll and is not sustainable.

The good news is there are ways to make sure you catch it before it gets out of control.
1) Schedule it regularly. And I don't mean the monthly massage session, although that is nice. It is too far and few between. Do something that is special from you to you. For some, this may be 30 minutes a day reading for fun or researching your favorite cuisine and once a week trying out a new recipe. Whatever floats your boat.
2) Protect your time. Don't treat it like free time, treat it like an important meeting. Otherwise, it will be easy to let it fall off your calendar. Set an alert to notify you of it.  
3) Accountability - Get your spouse, a friend, coworker on board with your intention to do this for yourself. Then they can hold you accountable to it. When my self-care fell off my calendar, a friend had a back and asked me what I was doing for myself when I wasn't my usual engaged self. She reminded me and I got back on track quickly.

So schedule, protect, and hold yourself accountable to your well-being. You future self will thank you!

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