Greetings!
This weekend my sister and I went to our father’s family reunion. It was complete with traditional Southern food, family games, and lots of fellowship. A big part of the reunion is catching up. This generally involves a 1 minute recap of your year. This recap is repeated over and over again as aunts, uncles, and cousins are greeted. For some, the recap is the same old, same old thing. No new news. While for others, it is all about the moves they are making & great improvements in their lives. Good news. Which type of news will you have? Good news doesn't just happen. Which have you been working towards? What things monopolize your time? Do they fit into the vision of Your Best Minute? How can you improve it? Imagine it’s one year from today. Write out your one-minute year recap. What moves have you made since Summer 2016? What are your contributions? How is your life better?
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“Somebody should tell us, right at the start of our lives, that we are dying. Then we might live life to the limit, every minute of every day. Do it! I say. Whatever you want to do, do it now! There are only so many tomorrows.” ~ Pope Paul VI
It’s hard to believe France has had another horrific terrorist attack and on their Independence Day. We continue to have France in our thoughts. I have extended family in France. I want to mention a few life lessons that I have learned over the years from my French brother and sister. 1. Experience all life has to offer. They have lived in multiple countries, are multi-lingual, love experiencing new cultures and new people and continue to strive for more of life. It is a large part of their culture to live life to the fullest. Are you living your life to the fullest? 2. Be passionate. I was shown a real hunger for what life has to offer. From fresh baked bread & soft cheeses to their heritage and history, there is great pride. The passion is palpable and enviable. Are you exhibiting your passion for life? 3. Love, love, love. Love fully, deeply, completely. I learned a strong message of never being ashamed of love no matter how you express it. I guess this is where the French kiss came from. Are you expressing or suppressing your love? How can you reach out more, experience life, and share your message of love? Do it! Sending Love all around the world, Dr. Chrystal This morning I saw the news headline stating the United Kingdom has voted to leave the European Union. The responses from many "Brexit" supporters were that it was about Freedom, retaining Power, and taking Control. Whether you agree with the decision or not, that sentiment is echoed by many who are looking for more in their lives.
When you desire for more, one of the first words that comes to mind is change. Unfortunately many feel stuck and powerless to change. The truth is we have the power to improve almost any situation. When I was pregnant, I wanted nothing more than to leave my job and work for myself. It had been a desire of mine for a couple years. Almost one year to the day that I went on maternity leave, I did just that. I became my own boss. I realized I could choose to continue to follow someone else's plan for me. Or I could choose to live a life of abundance on my own terms while still helping others. I chose control and abundance. What do you choose? Who's in the driver's seat of your future? In which areas of your life are you virtually hands off and not taking control? Your finances? Your relationships? Career? It's time to take charge of the things you can control. If you aren't working on it, you are working against it. How are you working against your desire for change? Be honest with yourself. Now, what are 3 things you can do to take control and work for you? What You Seek is Seeking You! - Rumi
Get Clear on What You are Seeking! When I started medical school I knew it was going to be one of the hardest things that I had ever done in my life. My goal, of course, was to get my MD and be Dr. Harris. I needed a plan. The first day of class I started a study group. It was an open group for anyone who wanted to study together at school, bond, and seek success. We were constantly brainstorming, problem solving, and helping each other out. The group helped us to get clear on a shared path and goal. The group's success was tied to the success of each individual and We all worked together to achieve that "group success." And the best part, everyone from our study group graduated on time and is now an MD. What are you seeking? Action Steps: 1. Get Clear on what you are Seeking. What are you moving towards with your daily actions? Review your written goals and actions daily. 2. Get Clear on what Inspires you. There will be ups and downs, what keeps you motivated? Knowing this now is important to help you through the difficulties later. Having a supportive group inspired me and kept me focused. Have your inspiration ready. 3. Re-evaluate Goals & Progress regularly with like-minded people. There's nothing like the magnetism of a group to attract what you seek. My study group not only inspired me, they made me accountable for my actions, plans, and progress. I had to come prepared and I was challenged to meet my goals. Find a group of like-minded people to attract what you seek. Oprah retweeted something that spoke to me today. It was from Will Williams and it read, “Once you tell your story, it’s time to move on.” I’m moving on. So here is my story:
When I was five, I wanted to be Whitney Houston. She was beautiful, sung like an angel and seemed simply amazing. My favorite song was the Greatest Love of All. I truly believed the children are our future (not really thinking that I was one those kids). I would sing that song all through the house. Then I was told that I couldn’t sing… that never occurred to me, that I might not be Whitney Houston when I grew up. I realized I needed to change my career path immediately. At the age six I dabbled with being Dr. Huxtable. He was a great parent and physician. He saw patients at home and played with the kids and had a supportive loving relationship with his wife. What a great life! Then when my grandfather passed away in that same year and I thought about how doctors play such a significant role in patients' lives. My goal was solidified, I wanted to help people. I was going to be a doctor. I spent the next two decades focused on that goal and living to that end. Excelled in math and science, and made the honor roll every year and did extra-curricular geared towards building my scientific and social abilities showing that I was not a just a science nerd, I was well-rounded. I rarely dated because guys are so good at side-tracking us good girls. My desire was so strong that I had no back-up plan. It was doctor or bust! Getting my acceptance letter into my first choice medical school was the greatest day of my life. By the next week I was on the campus doing everything I could to prepare for my entrance into the class that August. To say I was passionate about being a doctor is an understatement. I was obsessed and my first experience with sunburn down in Nicaragua doing a medical mission was proof to me and my family that it was my everything. So when that obsession began to dwindle I was thrown for a loop. It wasn’t until my 3rd year of medical school that I realized my passion was not what it used to be. It was strange. It wasn’t so much the amount of stress and work (and there was a lot of work, but it was doable). It wasn’t the fact that many patients become sick, lose function, or even die from diseases that can be avoided or reversed from basic lifestyle changes (although that is frustrating too, but hey I know doctors that smoke and I used to be a fat doctor topping out at 240 lbs). It wasn’t even the fact that my passion had become a never-ending job and zapped my energy on a daily basis. It was the fact that I had done very little living, and I realized that if I kept going the way I was I never would. I began to resent medicine and I was angry at myself for letting it happen. Yet I had no back-up plan and I was in too deep, I resolved to stay on the grind. But my heart ached and I felt empty. A few weeks later, something miraculous happened. I met a man. An amazing man. He was handsome, intelligent, accomplished, cultured and exciting. And I thought, this is God’s plan! This man would fill that emptiness and give me a reason to continue in the medical field. I created a list of things that I would buy him with the money from doctoring… new car (he was a huge car fanatic), pool table (one of his hobbies), tickets to see Nascar, UNC basketball games, and NFL football games, and anything else he desired that I could afford. And then anything that he wanted for our future family;hmm, what sort of house would he like? Making him happy made me happy. He gave me a life. And we were happy for a little while. And since living happily ever after would have been too easy, one day he told me that I didn’t understand him and that I didn’t really love him. I told him I was certain I did. He said it didn’t feel right and that I wasn’t truly there for him. I was appalled. I gave him everything that he wanted. I was making it work. Plus I was an overachiever when it came to taking care of his wants and needs and being a medical student then physician. And he had the nerve to say it wasn’t enough! Unfortunately he was right. I couldn’t love him the way he deserved to be loved. That’s because it was never about him. It was about me. I needed him to be there for me and in turn I gave him everything he wanted except for the one thing he really needed. I was angry at him because he didn’t get it. If I wasn’t his woman, then I was nothing because I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to be a doctor anymore. It wasn't his fault. The truth was I never worked on who I was after accepting I needed to be more than just a doctor. It’s something that we heard a lot from our mentors who say things like you have to continue your hobbies and have a life outside of medicine because it can consume your life. But my plan was for it to consume my life first (it was my top priority), then I would branch out and do all the things that I had put on hold. However, my life had been on hold so long, I didn’t even know what I liked to do. I had almost no hobbies and no goals past being a doctor. I was unhappy and felt stuck. Therefore soon after the guy and I broke it off, I took a serious break from doctoring. There were a number of things that happened in succession that led up to my decision to leave the hospital, but the bottom-line was, I was unhappy with almost every aspect of my life and I couldn’t go on living that way. I needed time to think and reboot. They say you have to do things you have never done to have things you’ve never had. I wanted to get a life. I needed to save my life. I began to do things that I hadn’t done before. I started traveling a lot and doing things that I would normally say no to, not because it was dangerous, illegal or immoral, but because I was much more comfortable saying no than yes to new experiences. I found out I enjoy many things that the closed-minded me of the past was certain I would hate. I’ve eaten exotic foods, done some unusual activities, and meet some interesting people. I am happier now than I have ever been in my life. I have a new reason to wake up in the morning fulfilled and it’s not because of a job or a man or even goal I am trying to achieve. It’s because I did wake up. I am thankful for the time I have and grateful to be able to live each day. I haven’t arrived. I’d like to never feel like I have “arrived” again. I want to continue on this journey of exploration. I hope to keep moving on. Through the Crystal Violet company, I aspire to aid others along their journeys, as they take down the walls, become more self-aware, and save their own lives. We can gain all we deserve as we remain open-minded, develop new passions, and create new challenges. We can have it all. |
AuthorDr. Chrystal Archives
February 2024
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