Thank you! It's Just What I Wanted!

At work, we had an end of the year holiday party. We work from home so it was all virtual, but isn't everything now?! Wow, this is where we are right now. Anyway, back to the party, it was for a group of us who agreed to do Elfster. If you are unfamiliar with Elfster, it is an online platform that supports gift exchange within a group. We did Secret Santa. You simply set up the Secret Santa list with the participant's names and emails, and the platform does the rest. It sends out email invites, everyone who wants to participate sets up a profile and wish list of items within a set price range. A few weeks before the party everyone receives an email with the name of who they will give gifts and that individual's wish list. All the items are in online stores and when you click the item you wish it put it in the cart for that platform, i.e., Amazon, Etsy, etc. Then when you buy it, it ships it directly to the recipient: From your Secret Santa! Then on the day of the party we all opened our gifts together (online) and revealed the Secret Santas.

It was so much fun! But I started thinking what if we were this explicit for other things, non-store bought items that we wanted or needed. We could create a wish list of "emotional" gifts that we would like from others: hugs, affirmations, validations, acceptance, encouragement, compliments, kindness, and quality time. We could even be more specific about which Santa we want these things from: acceptance from dad, validation from mom,  friendship from brother, affirmations from your spouse, reciprocity from your friends, encouragement from your colleagues, and so on. Can you imagine requesting AND receiving those emotional gifts? Your heart would shout: It's just what I wanted (and needed)!

This is love. Love is acts and action, and it comes in many forms. It seems like a lot is said about how to give love and why giving is important, but very little is discussed about how to receive love and specifically in the way that you want it. So many of us in a spirit of giving are great givers but poor receivers, so in many cases we don't ask, then get the minimum or we don't receive in a positive spirit and then resent it. Then we suffer with lack in silence. If we ask for love in ways that refill us, then we can prepare ourselves to receive it in ways that are fulfilling. Over time you will build that "receiving love" muscle. One last thought: if you make the request of someone, and they do not give you what you asked for; know that person is simply not capable for whatever reason of providing you what you need now, but it doesn't mean that no one is capable. So designate your "Secret Santas", ask, and be prepared to receive!